What is a Fair-Weather Friend?
A fair-weather friend is someone who is only around during the good times and seems to always be busy or absent when challenges arise.
This metaphorical "friendship ship" sails smoothly in clear waters but vanishes at the first sign of rough seas. It may be hard to distinguish who these people are in the beginning of a friendship but a superficial friendship will leave you feeling confused or uncertain while a true friendships will feel secure.
If you ever felt like you couldn't go to a friend when experiencing an overwhelming emotion because they might view you as 'weird' or overdramatic then that's a good indicator of a fair-weather friend.
If you've ever felt like you had to put on a happy face for a friend because you were worried if they saw you mad or sad they would leave, then that's a good indicator of a fair weather friend.
However, if you've never gotten that impression before and you've in fact gotten mad at a friend, or had a disagreement and you were able to communicate through the quarrel, then that's a good indicator of a sustainable friend.
And as important as it is to notice if those around you are built to last, it's equally as important to point that skeptical eye at yourself.
Being a fair-weather friend undermines the foundation of trust and support that real friendships are built on. If you're the type of person that has no obligation using or discarding another person you may have some internal work to do.
Ask yourself:
- Do I make an effort to be there for my friends during tough times?
- Am I only present when it’s convenient or enjoyable for me?
- How do I react when my friends need support beyond casual interaction?
Consider journaling your thoughts. If at any point you feel friction, or a sense of disharmony within yourself based on previous actions or thoughts, putting words to your feelings and actions can provide clarity and reveal patterns in your behavior. From here, you can start to properly understand whether you’ve been a true friend or a fair-weather one and what next steps can be.